Finding the Gratitude~

Finding the Gratitude~

 May 6th 2016

The last weeks with my Dad were full of hope, worry, and love.  We didn’t know how sick he was. We didn’t know how much time he had left, or what his wishes were. We didn’t know he was about to make his transition. One of the hardest parts of the experience, was that there was so much uncertainty.

I miss my Dad every day. He has been gone over 2 years now, and I am still realizing what a loss his death is to me. Losing him was the hardest, most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. It left me numb and disconnected with my spirituality for sometime, and changed the way I view life and death forever.  Yet, I see now that there were blessings. I can see that the Goddess was there wrapping her arms around him and us. I can see that miracles were taking place.

 

My Dad’s father had a stroke in 2011 and has been in a nursing home ever since. A few weeks before my Dad passed away, he got sick with a virus. He was taken to the same hospital my Dad was receiving care.  This was one only times he has ever left the nursing home since arriving there.  At the time it seemed like too much. Too much to ask my Grandmother to bear. However, once my Grandfather quickly recovered, he was able to visit with my Dad. My Dad was able to be in the same room with his Mother, Father, sister and brother. They were all reunited one last time. They sat together, talked, told stories, laughed, and were able to say goodbye.  It was a blessing that could not have been planned, arranged, or even thought to pray for. It was truly a gift.

 

 

The day of my father’s service was one of sorrow I have never felt before. Surrounded my family and friends, we honored his memory, spirit, and adventures. I felt like a ghost of myself as we floated in the funeral procession to the cemetery with Pink Floyd as our soundtrack. I cried on the shoulder of my sister like I have never cried before. I felt that I could never leave his grave or feel anything but sadness ever again. It seemed too real and like a dream at the same time.

Later that night after my family had retired, my sister, my husband, and I were the only ones left awake. We were emotionally exhausted, and hollow. I got sick. I had been getting sick to my stomach all week. My sister’s stress had shown its self physically with a bad rash on her skin. I thought getting sick was an outward sign of my internal suffering. I blamed stress.  My husband had other ideas, and although I dismissed the idea completely he went out and got a pregnancy test.

 

And so, on the day I thought I would never shift from grief and loss, I found myself standing with my husband and sister, staring in disbelief at a very positive pregnancy test. It was then revealed to me just how intricate Great Spirit’s plan is. The miracle of life and death came full circle in that moment, and although I can’t begin to fathom the power and beauty, I know that even in my darkest hours I am blessed and cared for by the God and Goddess. My life is not as simple as black or white / good or bad. I have experienced that even on my darkest days I can find gratitude, if I am willing to look for it.

 

****If the language I use to describe my concept of Higher Power makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to substitute your own. It’s easy. I do it all the time. ;)

2016 Check In

Hello Blog! It's been too long! I was at my first East Bay Artist's Guild meeting, and I heard Lisa Fulmer give a fabulous talk on self promotion. She is very pro-blog, which reminded me...I have a blog!
So here we go!

2016 ~  Acrylic with Digital Design by Michelle Cicala

I am super excited to be in the year of 2016! 2015 was wonderful! I picked up a paint brush again, and made the goal of being in an art show. That goal was realized very quickly. I showed my artwork at SWAN Day in Martinez, The Concord Art and Wine Walk, did a very fun RAW Artists show in San Francisco, and a Holiday Show at the Concord library. All were wonderful learning experiences, and had very different vibes. The last show I did right before the holidays was my most successful yet, as far as selling my work.

Handmade For the Holidays Show at the Concord Library ~ 2015

So now its, 2016. My goal for this year, is to continue developing my own original concepts. I feel like one painting leads to another, and I am following a tread, or flow of consciousness. I want to see where this goes, and work on exploring techniques along the way.
To start this year with a bang, I was so thrilled to be invited to small show called Sight/Unseen that will be held in April. It is such an affirmative experience to go from hoping to show my art in 2015, to being personally invited to a show in January of 2016. I feel like it is a pat on the back from the Universe.

"The Great Beluga" this was a nickname we had for my Dad. My first painting of 2016.

This January, I also joined both the East Bay Artist's Guild, and the Concord Art Association. I was able to get a babysitter to watch the girls on Tuesday, and see a fabulous ink presentation by Keri Luiz. It was great to see her show her favorite materials, and techniques. I also got a kick out of her explaining 1970's hot rod artist Ed "Big Daddy" Roth, the creator of Rat Fink, to the older members of our group. It is cool to see that although an artist style may not be our cup of tea, we can all still appreciate the technique, and talent that goes into it.

"Rat Fink" by Ed Roth

 This was my first time participating in the CCA mini art show, where members are encouraged to bring a piece they recently finished. There were some very nice pieces displayed. I brought a painting I finished a few weeks ago called, "Paisley Bear in the Peonies" We all got to vote for our favorite 2, by secret ballot. During the break they presented ribbons to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners. It was super fun! No ribbon for me this time. -That would be too easy! I look forward to getting to know this great group of local artists and bringing home a ribbon sometime in the future.
To see the art from the mini show use this link:
http://concordartassociation.blogspot.com/2016/02/february-mini-art-show.html

Paisley Bear in Peonies~ Original Acrylic painting on 11 x17 canvas

I joined the East Bay Artist's Guild after hearing about a show they were doing at the lovely Pleasant Hill Senior Center, called Flora and Fauna. I joined the show was able to display my "I woke up this way" painting there. 

I woke up like this ~ Original acrylic painting on 16" x 20" canvas

When I arrived to drop off my piece for the show, I was so impressed by how kind, friendly, and talented this group is. They made me feel so welcome and supported, even when my canvas was found to not have the proper wiring. One of the men went to the trouble of getting a tool box out of his trunk and wiring my canvas for me. He also gave me some great tips on wiring and acrylic gloss. 
My first time attending a East Bay Artist's Guild meeting, it was so good. Lisa Fulmer presented her wealth of information on mixed media products that are funky, inspiring, and so wonderful. I have known her for a little while now so it was great to hear about her back ground with the craft industry and marketing experience. 
I am feeling so blessed to be a part of this vibrant artist community in the East Bay. I feel that I am getting involved at the perfect time, because the Concord art scene is blossoming and there is plenty of opportunity for my artwork to find its space. I am looking forward to a very creative 2016!
~ Thanks for reading!

Lord Surya- Sun Lion ~ 16x20 original acrylic painting on canvas

Don't forget to check out what's new in my shop!  https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaisleyBearCreations 
For prints check out my Society6 shop 
https://society6.com/paisleybearcreations/prints
Let's be friends find me on facebook at  https://www.facebook.com/PaisleyBearCreations

Spirit Bears

By: Michelle Cicala

When I lived in Florida, I would participate in a lot of guided meditation groups.  There was a very special group of people that would gather at my dear friends John Wulf and Laura Hughes' house. With the deep and reassuring voice of John as my guide, I would journey into my self. I would process many feelings during the meditations, and observe the shifts of my consciousness. I would feel unsure of my ability to do it "right". I would feel profound connection to my fellow meditators, and to my guide. I would feel hope and excitement, centered and grounded. I would float out of the room at the end of the evening.

  Grizzly Moon ~ by Michelle Cicala

Once a month we would do a shamanic journey - lead by my friend Frank. The four directions would be called upon, to help us create a sacred space. Sage would smoulder, and smell so good, earthy, and fresh. We would begin to drum together. The energy would rise, and build, louder and faster, and then stop. Silence would follow, and seem so loud in its stillness.

 Blue Moon Bear ~ by Michelle Cicala

When the time was right we would begin our shamanic journey. Frank, with feathers in his hair, would strike his drum with a slow steady beat, while circling the room. Slowly the beat would grow quicker, and quicker, growing in urgency. I would sit listening, breathing, and in my mind I would be walking down a dirt road on a bright sunny day. The clouds and sky were beautiful, and the land is rolling hills of  yellow green dry grass. The beat of the drum is the rhythm of my foot steps, and as they become more rapid, I begin to run. I veer off into dark green cool forest of redwood trees. The sun light is dappled in here, the sky is covered by the tall trees and branches. There are pine needles under my feet, as I run even faster now.

Blue Moon Bear Detail

Suddenly, the drumming stops and there is a cave. I have been here many times. I was born here. I am coming home. Inside it is dark, and warm, and silent. I let my fingers rub the rock walls as I walk deeper into the cave. I feel the ancient hieroglyphs drawn and carved into the stone by my ancestors. Pictures of animals, moose, caribou, and bears.

 Gazing Bear ~ by Michelle Cicala

I can hear his breathing, before my eyes adjust enough to make out his huge shape. The spirit bear is sleeping. His brown shaggy fur is dreaded and matted, and I can smell him. I lay down, and curl up next to him. Without a sound, or change in his rhythmic breathing, he lifts his massive paw and embraces me. This is where I was born. I am home.

Gazing Bear Detail

Stillness, silence, and breath, is all there is in this moment. I've come here with questions, but those are all gone now. Here with my spirit bear, all is understood.

We don't always sleep. He has talked with me, shown me the hieroglyphs that decorate his home. Sometimes, I find him outside. I use his shaggy hair to pull my self up on his back, and ride him through the forest. But tonight I just rest beneath his heavy paw.

Traveling Home ~ by Michelle Cicala

I hear the drum again. Its time to travel home. I silently thank the spirit bear - for all his wisdom, love, and power. I make my way back out, into the forest. Frank's drum is speeding up, and so do I. Out into the forest, and back out to the road. 

The drum is silent. I am back inside my body. I am back in John and Laura's living room, with my fellow travelers. They have all taken their own journeys, to the places, and with the spirits that have called to them.  I wiggle my fingers, and my toes. I stretch my arms above my head, it feels luxurious. I open my eyes, and I giggle.

Silver Moon ~ by Michelle Cicala

Many of the Spirit Bear Paintings are still available in my Etsy Shop.  
https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaisleyBearCreations

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about my journey. I feel so happy to have a forum to share it with you.
Namaste
Michelle Cicala

 The Divine Mother Series

By Michelle Cicala

I took some time off. I didn't plan to stop painting for a year, it just happened.  I was a new mom, pregnant, and mourning the loss of my sweet Dad.  I was still making things - dolls, dresses, mobiles - for my girls and for my Etsy store, but I had no urge to pick up a paint brush.

Moon Goddess

A few months after Amelia was born, there was a shift.  One night after my little family was all tucked in, I found myself sketching! Soft simple feminine forms, embracing their children. Nurturing and loving their children. Mothers ~ Goddesses and babies!  

 

Mother Goddess

I was reminded of the simple line drawings of the Athabascan artwork my parents collected when we lived in Alaska. Round, simple figures, performing everyday tasks. Primitive, tribal, familiar.

   

 Traveling Home

 I started to paint. It flowed. I was excited! Sometimes, the baby would cry and I have to would stop in mid-stroke. Sometimes, she sat in my lap and nursed, like she is now. In the mornings after breakfast, my 2 year old, Madilyn, and I would paint together. 

 

Expecting

&

Mother with Twins 

I am extremely pleased with this series. These Divine Mothers are so lovely to me. I feel that my prayer has been heard, and that my gratitude has been expressed.  I feel ecstatic to be painting again!  I am especially grateful to have found my process.  A way to make time for myself, and for my art.  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share it with you!
Love and Light,
Michelle Cicala

 The Divine Mother Series is available in my Etsy Shop.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaisleyBearCreations

My Prayer of Gratitude:

The Divine Mother's healing current, 

flows through our hearts as compassion, 

it fills our bodies with sweet nourishment, 

and blesses our spirit with her divine wisdom, 

and the wisdom of all mothers

The Garden Party Bridal Shower

A beautiful day to celebrate the bride!

 Family, friends, a few fun games, yummy food, and a sweet candy buffet, helped to create a beautiful afternoon garden bridal shower. The weather was gorgeous and of course so was the decor!

The shower was held back east, in Wilmington, Delaware, at my in-laws beautiful home and garden.  On the deck we used a tent to shade the buffet from the sunshine. Sweet berry flavored water, and a novel gin cucumber lemonade, were offered with colorful straws, and mason jars, for refreshment.

A selection of hearty, healthy, and flavorful salads were perfect for the warm weather. One of my favorites was a Greek pasta salad, with shrimp and feta made by one of the brides friends. It was delicious! Here's a link to her recipe.

 http://allrecipes.com/recipe/greek-pasta-salad-with-shrimp-tomatoes-zucchini-peppers-and-feta/

As for the buffet decor- we used a simple vase of red roses, burlap bunting with the day of the wedding date carefully painted on, printed red cloth napkins, and a brightly colored table cloth to pull it all together! The bunting banner was carried over from the engagement party that was held in Portland last January.

One of the highlights of the shower were the colorful French macarons, from Aux Petits Delices, a fabulous French bakery in Wayne, PA. There was much discussion about the difference between a macaroon, and French macaron, -besides the spelling. I can say I prefer the French ones! They came in rose, lavender, pistachio, salted caramel, and chocolate flavors.  Selected for color coordination they proved to be much more than just pretty!

  

  

We  rented a tent for the yard, and used slightly different sized round tables, each seating 3 people to create a garden party/bistro setting. I used old school crape paper streamers to bring in lots of bright fun colors. 

 An assortment of potted daises were used for the center pieces.

 

The wedding colors are red and turquoise so we emphasized those but also added some hot pink, green, and yellow to give this event its own distinct feeling. 

 

I think decor for the engagement party, shower, and rehearsal should all flow. The main function of these events is to celebrate the bride and groom, but they are also an opportunity for guest to get acquainted before the big day, and get a taste of what to expect as far as formality and decor on the wedding day.

Madilyn helping with candy selections :)

A gift table and candy buffet were front in center, with a fun throne for the bride's seat as the focal point. The candy buffet was so fun to put together! Colorful containers, and an assortment of sweets doubled as eye candy and a party favor.  The guest carried their treats home with green and white chevron patterned bags, that we personalized with an adorable tandem bike stamp.

 Just for fun, the bride to be was given sash, veiled tiara, and giant diamond ring to wear as she opened her gifts. She glowed away happily, as we showered her with love, and laughter. The excitement grew as guests chatted about their  up coming flights and accommodations for the wedding- just a few weeks away!

 As the party dwindled it was nice to hear the guests depart with a cheerful goodbye saying, "See you in Portland!!"

 

Shower Decor!

Like a kid in a candy store! I went shopping today for fabric. Its to make table clothes and napkins. For Lisa's upcoming garden party bridal shower. This is what I picked out.

We will have 4 30 inch round tables and 2 long 6 ft tables. We are going with red and turquoise like the wedding but with pops of other colors- pink, yellow, and green.

 

Along with the this fabric for the adorable napkins!

  Here they are together!

More pics to come of the beautiful shower!